The Great Big Hannah Montana Parody Show!
by Kellaylay
Summary: For those of you who think Hannah Montana is slightly a waste of television, come on in! If you love Hannah Montana, still come in if you have a sense of humor : parody.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.:Ok soooo like I said this is a Hannah Montana parody. I'm not a big fan....but I used to watch the show so I know enough about it. **

HANNAH MONTANA-"fan" script!

*Southern sounding guitar pop music begins to play, as Hannah Montana flashes across the screen on a stage. We see a girl with blonde hair in a sparkly outfit step out of a limo*

Hannah: Come own!!

_You get the limo out front_

_ooh oooooh_

_hott styles every shoe every color_

_when your famous it can be kinda fun......blah, blah, blah blah..._.

We watch the cast each make their entrance on the theme song, woooo good times.

Cut to Hannah/Miley's Beach house.

Miley(we know this now because her hair is magically brown): Daaaaddyyy! What'd you do to the TV!?

Billy Ray:*walks in*Yes, darlin'? I was just finishin up your next Hannah song.

Miley: Oh thank god. God forbid I ever gotta write one of them songs myself!

Billy Ray: Daddy's got you covered. *winks*

Miley: Thaaaanks. You're the MAN! (major laughter in backround)

Billy Ray: That's what they tell me. (Laughter)

Soon, we see a boy walking down the stairs with a retarded grin on his face and flipped out dirty blonde hair.

(Jackson: Hey y'all I'm Miley's OLDER brother Jackson, even thought I look and act younger. Everything I say is basically fucking hilarious. Oh, and I like to make my belly button talk, which Disney seems to enjoy very much.)

Jackson:*entering room with ice cream smeared on his face*. Okay. Who put the ice cream in the shampo bottle? (Major laughter)

Miley:Uh....Jackson that was you.

Jackson: Say whatt?

Miley: Um, hello Mr. 'Gee wouldn't it be awesome to take a shower in Vanilla Fudge Swirl?'

Jackson: Oh yeah....then why'd I put mint chocolate chip in it? *licks off his lips* Aw, well, gotta go pluck my ear hairs.

(AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA is heard in the backround since that was SO fucking funny)

Miley makes a disturbed scrunched up face.

Billy Ray: I swear somethin' happened to that boy when he was younger...what in the name of jumpin' kangaroos did he hit his sorry head on? (Laughter)

Miley: I donno but it must have been pretty hard.

Suddenly, a blonde girl skateboards right into Miley's house and stops at her kitchen table.

(Lily: Hey I'm Lily, Miley's best friend!!! I usually make obvious jokes and sound like a dumb blonde which people think is hilarious, and I'm also famous as Hannah Montana's best friend because I wear a purple wig! Yay!!!)

Lily: I am SOOOOOOO excited Miley you have NO idea!!

Billy Ray:*coughs* Uh, Lily, what did we discuss last time you skateboarded into the kitchen?

Lily: Um...say hi to Mr. Miley's Dad first? *smiles* (Laughter)

Billy Ray: *Shakes head looking annoyed*......no.

Miley mouths 'wipe your feet' slowly. Lily looks confused.

Lily: Beat my meat? (Laughter)

Miley smacks herself on the head.

Lily: OHHHHHHHH!!! *runs back to door, wipes her feet then skateboards back in*

Lily: I am SOOOOOOO excited Miley you have NO idea!! (laughter once again)

Miley:*smiles sarcastically*why's that?

Lily: Hello? The Hannah Montana live concert at the Teen Club Friday!?

Miley: Say whaaaat? (Laughter)

Billy Ray: Aw, she's just kiddin' Lily, Miley remembers her big show Friday. Right, bud?*puts a hand on Miley's shoulder*

Miley: Of coarrseeeee..............I....do. *smiles nervously*

Cut to Miley, Lily, and Oliver walking along the beach.

Miley: WHAT am I gonna do!? I can't perfom at the Teen Club Friday, almost EVERYONE from school goes there every weekend!

Lily: So? What's so bad about performing for all our friends?

Miley: Hm, I don't know maybe the fact that I'm actually HANNAH MONTANA and everyone will find out if they see me there!?

Lily: Oh yeah. Well, heh come on not everyone...just uh....like 80 percent of the school!(laughter)

Miley: Nice job trying to make things clear, Ms. Obvious Much!??(laughter....)

*Soon the boy with brown hair winged out a little like Jackson's only worse speaks up*

(Oliver: Helloooo ladies, I'm Oliver, or Smokin' Oakin', or the Olley Trolley, or whatever corny ass nickname I call myself which is so witty and hilarious in every way possible. I'm Miley and Lily's guy friend, so the show equals out and isn't too sexist. I add even MORE comic relief to the show. Can you believe it? It gets even FUNNIER!!)

Oliver: Well, you can't back out now Miley, I'm already all set for a night of fun, partyin, and ladiessssssss. Yep, Oliver plays by his own rules now.

Miley: So, you can still go if I don't show up.

Oliver: Uh, well no because my moms only letting me go cuz it's Hannah Montana and I'm usually grounded but since I used to be madly in love with Hannah she's letting me go so please do the show please please pleaseeeeeee!!! (lauhgter forever)

Miley:*rolls her eyes* your more pathetic than a dumbfounded dingleberry dog with a peg leg.

Lily: That was a good one Miley. I thought you lost your big book of Hilarious Southern Exclamations and Disses?

Miley: Nah, Jackson just had it under his....bed.....if you can call it that.

Jackson: Just because half my room is under it and I use it as a hamper doesn't mean it ain't a bed!!!! *yells from snack stand thingy he works at* (oh, and more laughter)

Miley: Well anywayyy, what am I gonna do!? I can't have my dad cancel it, I mean he wrote me two new songs just for Friday!

Lily: Okay, Miley, calm down. I doubt anyone would even recognize you. I mean when you put that blonde wig on it's IMPOSSIBLE to tell it's you. Even thought you have the same face, annoying accent, and same everything else. They'll be totally fooled, trust me!

Oliver: She's right. Plus who cares, Well all have our fun. And I can't break my promise to all the women who want a ride on the Ollie Express, can I? Toot toooot!! *pulls hand up and down and walks off*.

Disney channel loving girls swoon over Mitchell Musso being such a hottie even though he looks like almost every annoying polo shirt wearing teenage boy in the average high school.

Lily: Well figure something out....we just need a plan......hmmmmmm.......*starts thinking really hard and Miley joins in as well*

Miley: I got nothin.'

Lily: Me either.

(Some more major laughter and we cut to commercials)

**Sooooo what did you think? Should I keep going? Ricco will come in soon if I do because that kid drives me insane(in a negative way of coarse). Only nice reviews please! But feedbacks perfectly fine too. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: Ok, here's the next part. Listen once again this is just a joke, I don't want any flames, it's supposed to be funny. **

And were back from commercials. We hear Hannah's lovely voice as the scene fades in going,

_wooahh oooh woahh woah woahhh._

Cut to the beaches of Malibu, where we see Jackson at his snack shop.

Jackson: *holding a salt shaker in one hand, and a pepper shaker in the other*why yes mrs. salt shaker I am telling the truth. *shakes pepper as if it is speaking*Oh realllyyy? How am I supposed know that considering you went on a date with, dun dun DUNNN, Mr. Ketchup!?*makes salt jump*whattt that isn't true!!

Suddenly we see a skinny 4 foot tall Mexican kid sits down on a stool in front of Jackson and watches his display very amused. Jackson is embarrassed that this ten year old caught him, for a reason I have no idea.

(Rico: Helloooo my name is RRRRRRRIIICOOOOO!! I was cast on the show to be an adorable mexican kid who acts like he's 25 for comic relief. Instead I'm extremely obnoxious and cocky when I(don't deserve to be kinda like Oliver but worse), but that makes me even MORE hilarious. Disney Channel loves scrawny obnoxious 9 through 10 year olds by the way if you wanna get into the business *hint hint.*)

Rico: Hey piece of shit. And yes I can call you that cuz I'm your bosses' kid. I want a Danimals drinkable yogurt on the house, NOW! (Major laughter)

Jackson: Oh, if it isn't Rico, the tick in my dog's fur. Fancy seeing you here. (Laughter. I'm sick of typing that so im just gonna type 'hahaha' from now on)

Rico: That would be funny, except you don't even HAVE a dog. (Hahaha)

Jackson: Well, well, I got your drink ready! *pulls out a sippy cup* Here ya go, enjoy!! (hahaha)

Rico: Very funny. Well everyone on this beach knows I'm better than you anyway so It doesn't matter. I bet you can't even get a date to Hannah Montana's live concert at the Teen Club Friday.

Jackson: Excuseeeee me? Listen here 'mini me', I can get a hotter, better, date FASTER than you can and I will!! (haha)

Rico: Your on. Oh ladies! *snaps fingers and two 16 year old life guards appear by his side and walk him away from the stand* (roaring laughter, because something about this that I'm unaware of was fucking hilarious.)

Jackson: You...little.....ARGH!! *starts acting like a crazy person once again* wait....wait.....Teen Club......Rico's only ten, he can't even get in!!! ahahhahaaaa! *jumps up in down in a victory dance*

Cut to Miley's school, you know, which is a perfectly normal high school like the one we go to, despite the fact that it's gigantic and on the beaches of Malibu. But really kids, she's just like us when she's not Hannah Montana.

Miley, Lily and Oliver are in the hallway.

Lily: So anyway AFTER he gave me back my test I saw that my final grade was a D. Hello? D!!? How can I get a grade like that on something I know so well....

Miley: Men's Wood Shop? (hahaha)

Lily: Well yeah I mean...my great great great great great great....

Miley: *puts hand on her shoulder* We get it, it was great. (HAHAHHA)

Lily: *takes deep breath* great grandfather was an expert in Wood Shop.

Miley: No way. Never would have guessed with that hollow head of yours.

Lily: Huh?

Miley: My point exactly. (Hahaha)

Oliver: *holding up a wallet sized mirror* So what looks better...my Outgoing Oliver face? *Opens mouth wide and smiles like a faggot* Or my OWW!! It's Smokin' Oakin face? *makes a face thats supposed to look sexy........but fails.

Lily: I like your Oliver shut up face!! (HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. That almost tops Mrs. Obvious Much, ALMOST.)

Miley: And your practicing faces in my old mirror I leant you because....

Oliver: Because I gotta look hotttt for the big Hannah show Friday!

Miley: Can we please not talk about that I'm so stressed out, ughhh!

Lily: It's hard not to when everyone in schools talking about it! Can't waitttt!! Poor Hannah though...she must be so stressed out.

*Miley glares at her*

Lily: oh.......whoops. (Hahaha)

Then a black girl and a chinese girl strut down the halls. There wearing semi matching preppy outfits and think their the shit.

(Amber and Ashley: Heyy, were Amber and Ashley. We play the 'popular girls' who are mean to Miley and her friends just because. Disney picked us so Hannah Montana wouldn't look racist! And we come up with a lot of catty comebacks and burns. 'ooooooh!')

Amber: Attention!! Attention please!!

Ashley: We have an announcement to make.

*Everyone stops in the hall.*

Amber: Our announcement is that we are going to be making an announcement in another half hour in the cafeteria. And it has to do with....

Ashley: The REAL Hannah Montana!!

*Gasps are heard in the crowd. Miley is even too shocked to ask 'say whaaaaat?'*

Amber: You don't wanna miss this one, if you wanna move up on the social ladder.

*They flip their hair and walk away, as everyone talks about what the big announcement just mentioned in the announcement could be about. Miley runs over to them and stops in front of them.*

Miley: Heyyyy girls..heh..uh you think maybe you can uh, let me in on what the big announcement could possibly be? Maybe? Yes, no maybe so? (Hahahahhahaha)

Ashley: Why would we tell a loser like you? *touches fingers with Amber* ooooohhhhhh!!! (HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA...ha...ha...ahhh I'm sorry my gut might explode soon from laughter.)

Miley: How about....for......a price?

Lily: Yeah, a price!

Amber: A price? Yeah like what, were listening.

Miley: Uh.....hmm....*snatches mirror away from Oliver* A nice wallet sized mirror. Now you can gaze at your *cough* gorgeous faces all day long, for free! (Hahahaa.)

Oliver: Hey that was my-

*Lily smacks Oliver* (hahahahhahahaha)

Ashley: Uh, yeah sorry we already have our own mirrors. And Their way bigger, prettier and more impressive looking than that piece of crap.

Both girls pull out too huge mirrors, one pink and one blue, and a little light goes on and says their names. Then a mechanical hand flies out of each and applies lip gloss to each of their lips. And as you can guess, laughter.

Miley: Oh.........kay. (Hahahahhaha) How about uh....ten bucks?

Ashley: Nah.

Miley: 20?

Amber: Oh puh-leaseee.

Lily: Annoying Tagalong? *pushes Oliver up to them* (hahahahhahaha)

Oliver: Hey! Uh....heyy ladies....heh heh.

Ashley: Forget it Miley, your just gonna have to wait like every else.

*They flip their hair and walk off*

Miley: Arghhh! Lily, why couldn't you just give them your new Gucci bag you bought, or.. SOMETHING!?

Lily: What!? No wayyy! Plus we offered them great stuff, even Oliver!

Miley: He doesn't count. (Hahahahha)

Oliver: Ok that's it.

Miley: Guys, just, listen I'm sorry. Just I don't know what to do. I mean who knows what Amber and Ashley have up their evil...ugly....ugh *shudders* sleeves. I mean....Friday everyone can find out I'm Hannah Montana for real!!

Scene fades to a more upset sounding, _woahh woahh woahhhh_.

**As if we didn't know that already Miley. Alright so that's part two, no flames, just review if you liked it please and let me know if I should add anything, or write more!**


End file.
